I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
