Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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