tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
