I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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