she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
