I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
