didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
