I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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