the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
