You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
