somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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