I love black thongs
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
