we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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