We're facebook friends in real life
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
