I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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