im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
