tell your sister to shave her snatch
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
