Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
