okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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