remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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