I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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