i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
