Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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