let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
