you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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