We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
