white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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