I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
She bit a glass in half.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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