sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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