Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
