Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
