I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
