Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
