I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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