College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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