Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
