The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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