he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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