her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
