It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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