Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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