this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
