hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
