Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You can't special order awesome
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
he puts the penis in happiness.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Randomize
