About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
