I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
