i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
