so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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