Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
