The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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